After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
How naked do you want me to be?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
