grandma shit on top of the toilet
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize