I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
