That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
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Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
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Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
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