You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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