It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
