11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
