it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Randomize
