if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
