Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
it's like heaven, but drunker
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
