): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
