Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Randomize
