Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
