Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I need moral support for this bender
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
