Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
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