Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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