Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize