who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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