dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
