I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize