i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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