how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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