My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
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