literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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