i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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