so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
