wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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