I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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