Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize