it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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