i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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