I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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