Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
