thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
