windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I am naked and annoyed.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
