tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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