Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
