Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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