I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
