I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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