Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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