How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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