Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Can I color on your dick again?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
She needs sedatives and a leash
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
