The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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