Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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