We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
