Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
