Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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