I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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