I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
