In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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