Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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