Jerry, you need to find god
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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