When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize