used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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